#FridayFlash – When Autumn Came

The objective: write a flash piece of exactly 55 words. Here it is.

When Autumn Came

The trees were dying. We didn’t know why. The wheat was dying, the tomatoes, the peonies. Even the weeds wouldn’t grow.

We watched all summer for father to come home, as everything died around us.

In the end, we left, with the harsh autumn wind at our backs. If he came home, we never knew.

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13 Responses to #FridayFlash – When Autumn Came

  1. Marisa Birns says:

    55 words that speak of death, puzzlement, and uncertainty. Well done.

  2. Penny Goring says:

    Oh so sad – so windy. Very cool.

  3. It’s hard to write a 55 word story, but you compressed a lot into this one. Good descriptions and poignant ending.

  4. Wow. The only thing I can think to say is “Bravo!”

  5. Claire says:

    Love this. I can *feel* the wind and smell the dead grass. Fantastic, Leah. 🙂

  6. Tony Noland says:

    55 words is not a lot of room, but you conveyed a complete world, filled with emotion. Great work.

  7. That’s a lot of emotion in only 55 words. Nicely done.

  8. Thanks folks! This was a fun exercise. I’ve done Drabbles before so wasn’t sure how half the words would work out but I’m happy with this one.

  9. John Wiswell says:

    Reminded me of David Carradine in Bound For Glory. If they left him like that, maybe he deserved it.

    The weeds not growing was a particularly effective line.

  10. Very impressive! This is an excellent, full story, and all in just the tight grip of 55 words. Well done!

  11. Crystal says:

    How challenging, but very, very well done. It made me incredibly thirsty.

  12. Feels like a Terrence Malick film. Love it.

  13. Thanks all! WP has decided to tell me only sporadically about comments left. I’m not ignoring you guys, I promise. I really appreciate the feedback.

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