#5MinuteFiction Week 73 WINNER!

This week’s winning entry really cracked me up. DL Thurston, @DL_Thurston‘s take on what would typically be an ominous-mood-setting sentence was hilarious. And so congrats DL!

Here’s his winning entry to enjoy again. And see you all next week!

“More dangerous than it is beautiful, the jungle pities no man. Or woman, I suppose. Though it might pity perhaps a small child, maybe one only a few years old, because really, the jungle isn’t a horrible monster, now is it?” In the control room the engineer’s hand went up. “No good?”

“Can we just stick to the script?”

The narrator took a drink of water, “I just thought maybe we could go a different direction with this one. Everyone’s seen all those grand mastery of nature documentaries, and I think they might be quite sick of them. Look, we’ve got an imposing jungle, we’re going to show how everything in there could kill a man. Then we’re going to show penguins looking after eggs. Always penguins looking after eggs.”

The engineer pulled back from the studio mic rubbed a frustrated hand down his face, then leaned forward again. “Look, I don’t write the script, I’m just here to get the recording. Can we start again?”

“Fine.”

“Rolling.”

“More dangerous than it is beautiful, the jungle pities no man. In direct contrast with Mr. T who is know to pity–”

“CUT!”

“Still no good?”

“Look, we’ve only got three more studio days and another hour of programming after this to dub. You were fine through the first three episodes. Now please. Just the script.”

“Just the script.”

“Yes. Rolling.”

“More dangerous than it is beautiful, the jungle pities no man. And yet, even here man has found a foothold, building platforms in the trees. And constructing radios and television sets out of coconuts, much like the Professor on Gilligan–”

“CUT BLOODY CUT!”

“Come on, just a little of that.”

“No. We’re getting this, then I’m going home, and I’m going to drink. Read it. Please.”

“Fine.”

“Alright. David Attenborough, take five. Rolling.”

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